Unsolicited
by Aksannyi
Summary: In which Mike decides that it may be time for him to try to mend things with Paige, but goes about it in the absolute worst possible way. Rated T, no spoilers.


**In which Mike decides that it may be time for him to try to mend things with Paige, but goes about it in the absolute worst possible way.**

 **Written as a birthday present for Maya. Happy birthday, and I hope you enjoy this ridiculous fic.**

* * *

Paige was running late for her appointment with her superior, and her phone chirped insistently at her as she rushed out of the elevator and toward the director's office, hoping like hell that it wasn't him calling to determine her whereabouts.

She reached into her purse and tapped the button on the top of her phone, silencing the beeping as she knocked on the director's door.

"Sorry I'm late," she apologized, and the gruff man motioned for her to sit down in one of the chairs in front of his desk. She sat down and listened as he began to brief her on her next assignment, a band of heroin dealers she'd be going under with over the next several weeks – months, if necessary.

Her phone beeped again, and she reached into her purse again, pulling out the phone and sighing out, "Sorry!" as she fumbled with the screen lock so she could put the offending device on silent.

As she glanced at the screen she froze, her face going white.

Mike had sent her a text message.

A _photo_ text message.

A _naked_ photo text message.

Before she could put the phone away and attempt to regain her composure, however, another message came through, Mike's text speak popping up on the screen saying, "thought u might wanna kno what ur missing."

"Agent Arkin?" The director said, clearly unamused by her inattentiveness to his briefing.

"Sorry," she said again, her cheeks turning a slight pink as she swiped the phone screen and silenced the device, stowing it away in her purse until later.

She was going to fucking kill him.

"Problem, Agent?" He asked her, eyeing her suspiciously as she sat up straight, adjusting her hair as she looked down at the file folder in front of her.

"No, sir. I apologize, I thought I had silenced it before I came in." She cleared her throat lightly, as if that would help her burn the image of Mike's pasty-white crotch from her mind, and added, "Tell me more about the marks."

* * *

Mike was the only one at the house when Paige returned to Graceland, and he turned toward the door as she walked in, a raised eyebrow tilted in her direction.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She didn't even bother with a greeting as she spoke angrily, tossing her purse at the bottom of the stairs and kicking off her shoes.

Mike's hopeful face changed instantly to one of confusion and then fear, his eyes widening as he took in the way she stalked almost menacingly toward him, phone in hand.

"Did you forget about my meeting with the director?" She continued, and Mike's face went pale.

"I thought you were having lunch with Charlie," he croaked out, his mouth hanging open as he pondered the possible ramifications of his actions. He groaned inwardly. Shit, he was such an _idiot._

"Oh, and _that's_ an acceptable time for me to be sent a picture of your dick?" She barely noticed the way he cringed at the word _dick,_ forgetting, in her anger, that he was easily embarrassed by her ease with dirty talk.

"I thought it might be funny," he said, without much conviction. "You seemed to enjoy it before," he added, despite the fact that Paige was glaring at him.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and counting inwardly before opening them again, looking him straight in the eye. "Women generally do not just want random pictures of a guy's dick."

"But–"

Paige interrupted him, holding her hand up to signal that he should stop talking. "No. Just because I saw it before – and liking it is _entirely_ irrelevant – does not mean you have blanket permission to just whip it out whenever you feel like it!"

"I don't believe that. You're just weird, you'll see. When Charlie gets home, I'll ask her. I bet _most_ girls love getting naked pics of their men."

 _Their_ men? Since when was he _her_ man? Paige raised her eyebrows at his words, silently asking him to explain himself. He began to stammer, "I mean– not _your_ man. I mean, I sent that other message…" he trailed off, his shoulders slumping in defeat. Maybe it wasn't that women didn't like receiving dick pics, just that Paige didn't want _his_ anymore.

"Mike," she started, sitting down next to him and looking at him earnestly, taking a sigh as she returned to a more neutral expression. "If you want to get back with me, sending me a nude isn't the way to accomplish that. We've been through a lot, and it's going to take more than just jumping into the sack with each other."

She watched as his expression changed, the slightest bit of hope beginning to form as he listened to her words. "We could try talking," she offered, reaching to place one of her hands on his knee, squeezing gently.

"Okay," he replied sheepishly, looking at her and hoping she might take the lead.

"Good," she replied, a slight smile forming on her lips as she looked at him intently, hoping that finally, they could resolve some of their issues.

* * *

Paige was just getting out of the shower and toweling off her hair, thinking about how great it would feel to get underneath the covers and snuggle up to her pillow when she heard Charlie's voice, loud and unmistakably disgusted, shouting, "No, Mike! Women don't like that shit!"

Shaking her head, Paige pulled the towel away and hung it on the hook on her door, shutting it as she did so. Maybe Charlie's disgust would be enough of a message to Mike that sending dick pics to unsuspecting women was _not_ something he should continue to do.

Her phone chirped at her from across the room, and when she reached it and picked it up, she was not surprised to see a text from Mike, reading, "u were rite"

"I know," she replied, and put her phone down and slid under the covers, reaching for it one more time to text him good night.

* * *

 **Just a little drabble - I hope you enjoyed!**


End file.
